Most people picture a divorce as a courtroom contest. In practice, most cases are settled without a trial, and the route you choose shapes the cost, the speed and the relationship you will have with your former partner afterward.
Mediation
In mediation a neutral professional helps both people negotiate the issues: parenting, support and property. The mediator does not decide anything. Agreements are recorded and, once each party has taken legal advice, made binding. It suits people who can talk with one another and want privacy and control.
Lawyer-led negotiation
Each person is represented and the lawyers exchange financial information and proposals. It works well where there is an imbalance in knowledge of the finances, or where communication is difficult but agreement is still possible.
Court
Court is the route when agreement is not possible or where urgent protection is needed. It is public, slower and more expensive, and the outcome is decided by a judge rather than by you.
Whichever route you take
- Gather three years of tax returns, statements for every account and details of debts.
- Do not move or hide money, and do not make major purchases without advice.
- Keep the children's routine as steady as you can.
- Ask about costs at the outset and request a written estimate.
If safety is a concern, tell your lawyer straight away. Protective orders and other measures are available and can be sought urgently.
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